I want to breathe, but a wave of self-consciousness overcomes my body and soul leaving me trapped in a mental state of complete fear and loneliness.
People say don’t listen to the negative world around you and let yourself be free but how can I be free when I’m my critic. Judging my every ghastly step and second guessing myself completely.
I have trapped myself in this cycle of self-doubt and disappointment as all my achievements amount to nothing. The life I live is a blistering cloud of smoke clogging up my lungs suffocating me slowly to the point of death.
I ask myself what the point is and will I ever emerge from the dense fog and for once reach the hidden weak light calling me.
Will I ever feel the sun’s rays lighten up my body and soul like those that surround me? I ask myself repeatedly for change as I compare this life to those that have lived before me only to reach a melancholy disposition of doom and gloom.
Excuse me as I write out my last words to make some lasting impression on you so that you may somehow see a person that has so much depth for that is the one thing that makes me seem like a worthwhile being.
As I lay my written words down on a letter, I begin to see all the things that I had fought against the depressions overcome and the smiles that made my day. I guess this letter isn’t truly me and these words are just one side of this deep complex being I had never given a chance to explore out of the critic’s mind.
Just as an old forgotten Broadway show revamped and brought to life, I see my life a fresh and worthy to be fought for once again.
Don’t let the negative cloud subdue you because even in your darkest moments there is a rich depth that is part of your very being and letting go of you and all that makes you is only creating a great loss in society.
I write this letter to you the one forgotten and adrift to tell you that the weakness you see within you are just a layer creating an intricate design of true perfection.