My Isolation is an addiction


They imagined that the words to be iterated to be something greater than a simple mere okay. Honesty cuts like a knife attached to a woman insanely deprived and on a mission for the truth. “I should have known better that I wouldn’t find a piece of happiness here next to you.” The words they shook her and placed her at the bottom of a pit. “Had I not given what you asked? Have I not taken the time to do what you required and more?” Emeries requests for answers were left with empty responses as if those questions only stood for rhetorical references.

They imagined that somehow they would fall into an embrace of sweetness and completion. Both had done all that was imaginable to be happy, but all that left with was a cold rotting feeling of emptiness. “I can’t be in this space with you anymore, and I mean this in the nicest way that I was not made for this situation you have placed me into.” Annie’s words slice and dice right through Emery.

Emptiness is a beautiful thing you see it reassures us that there’s nothing or that there’s space for something more. But this magnificent thing it too is ravines for it begs for more and more until your left dragging an addiction of completion on your broken back and bloody knees.

Oh, how emptiness cries for it to be your master. Hovering over you like a god, one not looking for your best interests. A god self-obsessed and hungry for attention. Can you hear it lurking in the back of your head lightly whispering for you to succumb to your designated destiny of a slave?

“Why do I let you hurt me to the point that I am broken and bent out to your uncaring will?” Emery asked but why ask such questions to someone who has no intention to answer or care. Why she had asked Annie so many questions, and all she had received was words of disinterest and separation.

How is it that we can paint the picture of Emery’s isolation so bright but yet she is so unaware of her fall from reality? The loneliness that haunted her had reshaped its self into something beautiful and inviting as do all dark things. Would you ever be tempted to join the darkness of the night if it was not for the stars and the moon? The little flickers of hope that are misleading for they float millions of miles away from you. They begin to spin a false tale of closeness and comfort as they laugh galaxies cruelly away from your broken soul.

She had imagined that she had found somebody to accompany her in the loneliness that haunted, but the beauty of loneliness is its stealth and miss shaping appearance. For you may be surrounded by millions or comforted by the world. Loneliness seeps through and cracks right past you pretending to be the sweetest friend until the euphoric blinds of deception are pulled to leave you realizing that it had been an illusion of the mind too afraid to accept the emotions that submerged within.


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