The street gleamed bright although it was dark and the ragged doors down the path held stories that could never be told unless intoxicated.
She found herself in the spot that they had first met and spent hours wandering through the rain in hopes of shelter. Something about the soaking rain left her feeling purified of all the toxicity she had bottled up so perfectly.
As she stood in the cold corner street of Barcelona she couldn’t help but think of him and how he must be. She had always loved him but knew they had parted for good reasons although her heart was left uneasy, she wondered if his intentions to pay no mind to her was a sign of him requesting for more of her.
She had become dependent on him and he was dependent on the life he lived away from her. Some might say he was enamoured by it in fact.
She stood in the rain of the night and let it remind her of everything that they could have been but never achieved. Maybe she had set the hopes for them to high and unattainable, she had thought as the rain hit her skin and dribbled down her cheeks like tears sweeping away emotions.
They had been in love for a summer and it was the most enchanting summer she had ever experienced as she lost herself in ways she could never have imagined. She lost her self-worth and self-imagination in loops of self-doubt and questioning to fit into the image he had asked her indirectly to paint.
Her tears fell down her cheeks reiterating the pain that lived within her. As the rain wiped her tears away she couldn’t help but think of the person she use to be. The women who could hold a conversation without the doubting thoughts of social anxiety overtaking and leaving her in a catatonic state.
It’s a bite ridiculous that she thought her inner self was gone when in fact it screamed for her to hear that moving on was okay. It had been screaming for months for her to notice its anxious tremors of self-doubts and emotional displacement she had begun to fall into.
The cold corner street that once was filled with romantic escapades was now drenched in a depressive atmospheres of broken hearts and lost souls. She knew that things would never be the same again and that street corner would hold history but she would have to say goodbye as much as it cut her heart to the clichéd lonely lover’s pieces.
Source: An Alley In Barcelona